The practice encourages a stance of self-kindness in the face of setbacks.
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Each evening think about an area where you are struggling and focus on mindfulness, common humanity and self kindness.
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This whole project is an expression of self-kindness or self-compassion, [and] therapy is a major piece of the puzzle.
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It's that people who practice self-kindness are less likely to act on the experience of being ashamed by avoiding or withdrawing.
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My students find self-kindness most challenging, so I ask them to imagine how they would comfort a close friend struggling with the same challenge.
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" When describing a disappointment at work, demonstrate what self-kindness sounds like: "I did my best, and I'll make sure not to make that mistake next time.
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As an icebreaker or think-pair-share, I have my students take this self-compassion quiz that measures how much self-kindness or harsh self-judgment they show themselves.
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One of first skills needed for self-compassion is self-kindness—extending compassion to yourself, even when you feel like you have failed, which can be challenging to say the least.
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Self-compassion encourages mindfulness, or noticing your feelings without judgment; self-kindness, or talking to yourself in a soothing way; and common humanity, or thinking about how others might be suffering similarly.
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New research has found that self-compassion, a three-step practice that teaches self-kindness in the face of setbacks, relieves symptoms of anxiety and depression for teens, especially those who suffer from chronic academic stress.
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Neff's scale proposes three interacting components of self-compassion, which are each composed of two opposite facets. The first dimension is self-kindness versus self-judgment. Self-kindness refers to one's ability to be kind and understanding of oneself, whereas self-judgement refers to being critical and harsh towards oneself. The second dimension is common humanity versus isolation.
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Stallman, H. M., Ohan, J. L., & Chiera, B. (2018). The role of social support, being present, and self-kindness in university student wellbeing. British Journal of Guidance and Counselling, 46(4), 365–374. and reduce distress.Stallman, H. M., Ohan, J. L., & Chiera, B. (2018). The role of social support, being present, and self-kindness in university student psychological distress. Australian Psychologist, 53(1), 52–59. The approach is designed for use in both low (e.g.
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This exercise is to be used during times of acute distress. The user is asked to focus on a stressful event or situation. Then, the user is asked to repeat several prompts to themselves, each of which emphasizes one of the three main tenets of self-compassion: mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness.
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Much of the research conducted on self-compassion so far has used the Self-Compassion Scale, created by Kristin Neff, which measures the degree to which individuals display self-kindness against self- judgment, common humanity versus isolation, and mindfulness versus over- identification. The Self-Compassion Scale has been translated into different languages. Some of these include a Czech, Dutch, Japanese, Chinese, Turkish and Greek version.
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Vipassana meditation is a component of Buddhist practice. Phra Taweepong Inwongsakul and Sampath Kumar from the University of Mysore have been studying the effects of this meditation on 120 students by measuring the associated increase of cortical thickness in the brain. The results of this study are inconclusive. Vipassana meditation leads to more than just mindfulness, but has been found to reduce stress, increase well-being and self-kindness.
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"Self-compassion is an adaptive way of relating to the self when considering personal inadequacies or difficult life circumstances." Self-compassion refers to the ability to hold one's feelings of suffering with a sense of warmth, connection, and concern. Neff, K.D.(2003b) has proposed three major components of self-compassion. The first is self-kindness, which refers to the ability to treat oneself with care and understanding rather than harsh self-judgment.
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This exercise entails keeping a daily journal for at least one week, and is used to reflect on difficult experiences, self-criticisms, and other stressors. The user is asked to analyze each of these events through the lenses of self-kindness (using gentle, comforting language to respond to the event), mindfulness (awareness of the negative emotions elicited by the situation), and common humanity (how the experience is part of the human condition).
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However, these feelings can be genuinely processed and expressed preceding the need for restoration. # The act of restoration allows the offending individual to make the necessary amends to the individual(s) they have hurt. # The final component in the model of self-forgiveness is renewal'. The offending individual is able to genuinely forgive himself/herself for their past transgressions and can engage in more positive and meaningful behaviors such as self-compassion and self-kindness.
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The long version of the Self-compassion scale (SCS) consists of 26 items. This includes 6 subscales – self-kindness, self-judgement, common humanity, isolation, mindfulness, and over-identification. Neff recommends this scale for ages 14 and up with a minimum 8th grade reading level. Presented on a Likert scale, ranging from 1 (almost no self-compassion) to 5 (constant self- compassion), those completing the SCS are able to gain insight on how they respond to themselves during a struggle or challenging time.
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In February of 2020, Keys relaunched Fearlessly Girl into a nonprofit organization called Kindness Wins. In its mission statement, the organization is described as "a platform for kindness, with special emphasis on kindness to self, kindness to youth and kindness to others in times of struggle." Kindness Wins looks to partner with other similarly minded groups, and to provide grants and support to people who are making the world a better place. As of the end of 2017, she is dating fellow American tennis player Bjorn Fratangelo.
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Alternatively, one can nurture self-compassion instead of self-esteem. Self- compassion researcher Professor Kristin Neff describes self-compassion as a combination of nurturing self-kindness over self-judgment, a sense of humanity over isolation, and a state of mindfulness rather than over-identification. A person experiencing distress who exercises self-compassion would be gentle towards him or herself rather than be harsh and critical and would recognize that he or she is not alone- rather, all people suffer at some point or another. This approach, Professor Neff and colleagues have found, can be beneficial for romantic relationships.
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Self-compassion exercises generally consist of either a writing exercise, role-playing, or introspective contemplation, and are designed to foster self-kindness, mindfulness, and feelings of common humanity. Self- compassion exercises have been shown to be effective in increasing self- compassion, along with increases in self-efficacy, optimism, and mindfulness. These exercises have also been shown to decrease rumination. In individuals who were vulnerable to depression, one week of daily self-compassion exercises lead to reduced depression up to three months following the exercise, and increased happiness up to six months following the exercise, regardless of the pre-exercise levels of happiness.
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In general ACT strategies are customized to fit each participant so they obtain psycho- education, problem solving skills and psychological flexibility. Mindfulness and acceptance exercises and skills facilitate the behavioral changes necessary for its user to pursue a life that they feel is vital and meaningful. Various sources have indicated that acceptance and commitment therapy overlaps with Neff's conceptualization of self compassion particularly ACT's relational frame theory. The basic theories and concepts underlining ACT, may be relevant and have shown to be parallels and hold similarities found in self-compassion The first is ACT's perspective and Neff's concept of self-kindness are both linked to self-acceptance.
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Individuals can unintentionally cause harm or offence to one another in everyday life. It is important for individuals to be able to recognize when this happens, and in the process of making amends, have the ability to self- forgive. Specific research suggests that the ability to genuinely forgive one's self can be significantly beneficial to an individual's emotional as well as mental well-being. The research indicates that the ability to forgive one's self for past offences can lead to decreased feelings of negative emotions such as shame and guilt, and can increase the use of more positive practices such as self-kindness and self-compassion.
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